


Boe's Journal

by FullMoonRaven, Welp_im_here



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Multi, Other, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullMoonRaven/pseuds/FullMoonRaven, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welp_im_here/pseuds/Welp_im_here
Summary: Boe, a Breton hailing from Cyrodiil, gets caught up in trouble when they cross the border into Skyrim. The dragon's return is just the beginning of it! As they try to juggle being the Dragonborn and running from their pursuers, who's to say romance can't come into play?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am editing and rewriting much of this story I apologize

**6th of Last Seed 4E 201**

 

    So I’m writing this down so I don’t forget later on, but I might turn this into a journal later. So this plan will take place over a week's time. Step one: I will spend the next few days getting what I can from people by “borrowing it”; my brother and I already have a few septims saved up, but not enough. My brother says we need armor and ways to protect ourselves so I will get more so we can afford arms and armor. Step two: my brother and I will slowly buy supplies and hide them where _he_ won’t find them. Step three: wait till we have everything necessary and then wait till _he_ falls asleep and make a run for it. All of this is easier said than done.

 

**6th of Last Seed 4E 201**

I honestly didn't expect to write in here again, especially in the same day, but I guess here I am. I just needed to get my thoughts out and it's hard for me to talk to people- even my brothers sometimes. My mother would have liked the idea of me writing… but anyways I wanted to write about how I’m going to miss my brothers. They say they will meet up with us some day but I know they're lying. I'm not going to see any of them again. They have families now… wives,  husbands, and kids they can’t leave. But I can; I’m taking this chance to get away. The chance to be free.

       My brother told me that It just gets colder in Skyrim, and that the roads are dangerous. He doesn't really know much about Skyrim other than that it will take a few weeks on the road to get to a city; maybe I should ask people about what it’s like. There are a lot of Nords around here who would know more.

 

[ the bottom of this page has been ripped out]

  
  


**13th of Last Seed 4E 201**

     So I guess I'm writing again. I want to talk about my brothers… I guess I’ll go in order from oldest to youngest. . . 1st up, there is Dryyrick; he’s my oldest brother at 27 years old. He has brown hair that he keeps braided, and the end of his braid is mid back. He's married to a man named Sulldar the Stout (I just call him Sully though), who towers over my brother. The next brother is Norenne; he’s the tallest out of all of us. He’s 25 years old with short hair that is very curly. Next up is the middle child! His name’s Veron. He has red hair and green eyes like mother did. Last but not least is my twin brother Guiesl, or Gus as I call him. We look exactly alike! He’s also my best friend… or really my only friend…

     Gus says we're leaving tomorrow night. He’s really nervous because if we get caught we would be better off dead. We keep checking and rechecking things. I think we have everything ready and prepared to go, but Gus says it's always better to check and I can't really argue with that, so I recheck. We are also worried that  _ He  _ will find out. That's probably what I'm most worried about. I think I heard something I should che-

 

[It cuts off suddenly and a large smear of charcoal afterwards]

 

**13th of Last Seed 4E 201**

 

    We lost most of the supplies…  _ He _ found out… So we just grabbed our bags and ran. All I have on me is a dagger and a few days of rations. Gus isn't really better off.

        Honestly right now I'm scared, tired and relieved all at the same time. I mean I don't think  _ He _ will follow us so there's that. But also we might starve or be killed by bandits or bears or wolves or whatever else is out there.

   Gus says I working my self up on things we don't have time to worry about. He says we just got to keep moving forward. I guess that's all I have to say today.

 

**15th of Last Seed 4E 201**

 

  We met these soldier type people on the road today. They're letting us travel with them, and they call themselves 'Stormcloaks’. I don't really know what they fight for, but they seem nice enough. We've been traveling with them for a few days now, and they have even shared food with us! One of them told me that we’re only a day away from the border, and from there, only a half day from the nearest town. I know once we cross the border  He won't be able to to catch us. I have no idea how that will feel. I'm excited, and So is Gus. 

  There's this really nice Nord stormcloak named Ralof who has been telling us stories about Skyrim. I think Gus has a liking for him. So it feels like for the first time in well ever that things are looking up for us. Their calling everyone over for dinner now I'll write more later.

 

**17th of Last Seed 4E 201**

 

 Oh gods oh gods oh gods… I don't even know how I keep ahold of this thing. And Gus oh gods. Alright get ahold of yourself Boe. We were at the border then soldiers Imperial soldiers… apparently there's a civil war going on in Skyrim and the stormcloaks are the rebels and so the Imperials caught us at the border and I don't remember too much about that. All I really remember about that is waking up on a cart outside of a town called Helgen I think. And they were going to execute us. Oh gods. And then a gods damned dragon appeared when I was about to get my head removed

  [the words here look like they were splattered with water in then wiped to dry it] 

 And Ralof helped me and my brother get to relative safety for a bit. But when we were going through the tunnels. Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods. Gus pushed me out of the way of the ceiling collapsing and got crushed.

  If I had been paying more attention. It should have been me not him. I should be dead not him oh gods 

[There is a few more lines of writing but it all has been smeared to the point that it is illegible]

  Now I'm in a city called Whiterun all alone. With nothing I'm so scared we should have just stayed home at least Gus would be alive and I wouldn't be alone. Gus I'm so sorry this is all my fault.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…

 

**21st of Last Seed 4E 201**

 

 Hungry, I'm hungry. I can barely get my hands on enough food to keep me alive. It's hard but I have to keep going. I got caught stealing today and instead of putting me in a cell for a few days. I was beaten… I'm used to beatings though and I guessed I deserved it, I always deserve it. 

  Really I deserve worse… I should just go home and get the punishment I deserve. Even my brothers would agree now. No… I can't go back then Gus would have died for nothing. Gus should be here not me. Not Boe Ashton, Boe Ashton should be dead.

   I need to eat.

 

**3rd of Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

      So I managed to get some work… as a healer which is nerve racking. These mercenary’s were looking for a healer at the temple here in Whiterun. But the temple couldn't spare any of their healers and I happened to overhear their conversation so I waited til they were done talking I offered my healing abilities. 

 They were surprised and at first they laughed at me. So I cut my own hand and healed it. They stopped laughing. And talked to each other for a bit and then agreed to take me, pay me and let me take a bit of what they found! They also paid for a meal and a room for me! 

  I am a little nervous I heard there's walking dead in these kinds of tombs, but they seem to be pretty experienced adventures. Well I'm going to get rested up for tomorrow.

  
  


**4th of Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

    Things went surprisingly well going through the tomb. And I made enough money to rent a room for months but I'm only renting it a week at a time. Anyways, as we went through the tomb and came to the final chamber there was a strange chanty wall with strange words all over it, but no one else seemed to notice, so I didn't say anything, because I didn't want them to think I was crazy. But it seemed to be calling me. I heard a word, but I don't know what it means but I can't get it out of my head… _ FUS. _

     So the reason we went to this tomb in the first place was get this artifact called the Dragonstone; they want me to go with them to dragonsreach tomorrow to deliver it. They said they will split the payment with me because I saved one of their lives with my healing. I'm going to get some rest now I'm exhausted from today.

 

**5th of Hearthfire 4E 201**

We went up to dragonsreach today to drop off that stone thing, and then we were told to go fight a dragon that had attacked the Western watchtower. I followed along for some reason, gods I don't know why but I did.

  Well they handled the dragon well there wasn't too many casualties, but it wasn't the same one from Helgen. Unfortunately that isn't the strange part. Apparently I ate it's soul: I'm something called a dragonborn? Also someone shouted at me to come to their mountain,and I apparently have to go, to get training of some kind. I'm worried what this will mean for me. But I think I'm taking this pretty well… I only cried for like three hours… well I'm going to get a good meal and then tomorrow I'm heading to a mountain.

 

**6th of Hearthfire 4E 201**

     I'm a little bit nervous about heading to High Hrothgar; I have enough coin to hire a carriage to take me to Ivarstead, which is only about a half day trip on foot, so I should get there in plenty of time. But even then I won't be heading up the mountain til the next morning. I was going to ask the mercenary group if I could hire them but they had already left town for Solitude. I think it's about a half day trip up the mountain, I'll ask more when I get to Ivarstead. To meet the Greybeards (I believe that's what they're called).

    I'm honestly really scared… If I really am this dragonborn person… then people will expect a hero or some great warrior…to be able to slay dragons… I wish I would have stayed home then I wouldn't have to worry about any of this… and Gus would still be alive…  the only people I have to ask are some old men living on top of a mountain… 

    I'm going to go get stuff prepared for my trip tomorrow, so this is all for now.

 

**7th of Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

The cart ride to Ivarstead was uneventful, which I thank the gods for. I'm sitting in the inn, mentally preparing myself to hike a mountain and talk to the old men atop it. I bet they're going to be disappointed when they find out I'm their dragonborn… if I'm the dragonborn. I hope this is just a mistake. I mean they probably expect some big burly nord warrior, and I'm not that- I'm about as far from that as you could get… I'm just some scrawny, messed up breton who can't do anything right. 

 Apparently the only things on the hike up I have to worry about are wolves and bears, which are pretty easy to avoid if you’re paying attention.

  I also need to eventually get new bindings; The one I have now is wearing out and soon it's going to be useless. Honestly I'm going to have to get new clothes in general… Mine have been through a lot I don't know how much longer they will hold up… hopefully I can get some warmer ones.

  Oh, someone else is making the journey up the 7000 steps. She asked if I wanted to go on the pilgrimage with her. Apparently the 7000 steps is some religious thing with nords, but I agreed anyway. I talked with her for hours. Her name is Ana and she's really tall, muscular, with fiery orange hair, blue eyes and freckles across her nose. She seems really nice from what I can tell so far. I'm excited to spend more time with her. She doesn't hate magic either like some nords, and when I told her I'm pretty alright at healing she was impressed, and said 

   “I hope we don't have to find out just just how good you are tomorrow”

  Alright I'm going to get some rest now. I'll write again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boe is mine character and if you're interested finding out more about them you can look here:  
> https://boethedragonborn.tumblr.com/
> 
> also I am scraping most of this story and changing quite a few things


	2. Chapter 2

**8th Hearthfire 4E 201**

  So we made it up the 7000 steps without too much of a hassle. I guess time flies when you’re with good company. We talked about so many things. We stopped every so often at these stone things so Ana could put an offering at each one. When we got to the top I asked asked if she wanted to go in with me. Ana looked at me funny when i asked that I guess people don’t go into High Hrothgar. So explained. I told her that I was told I'm  dragonborn and that I have been called on by the greybeards. She didn’t call me a liar or laugh at me. So we walked in together. 

   The Greybeards approached us. They faced Ana, but she shook her head and gestured towards me. Then the one called Arngeir looked a bit surprised but nodded. We introduced ourselves. They had me prove myself as dragonborn, which really tired me out by the time we were done I passed out for a bit, but It turns out Jarl Balgruuf was right, I am the dragonborn and this isn't some terrible mistake… oh joy. 

    Anyways Ana fell asleep a while ago I think I’m going to follow her example, Good night.

 

**9th Hearthfire 4E 201**

  So these Graybeards know I'm the dragonborn, but they still need me to go find some old horn in an ancient tomb. Ana says it sounds like fun. So we walked back down the 7000 steps and are renting a room at the inn. We are sharing a room since it's cheaper that way. Apparently a cart we can hire to take us up to Solitude should be here tomorrow. We were really lucky that we came down when we did or we would be walking to Whiterun to hire a cart.

    Maybe it's too soon to say I love Ana, but I do like her, and I know if I spend more time with her, I will start to love her. I was thinking about this all night last night, so I didn't get any sleep. So today will be interesting; spending it with Ana. I'm honestly a little excited!

 

**10th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  We caught the carriage this morning, and are now on the road. It's a three day trip to Solitude, so we spent yesterday gathering supplies for the trip. Ana said we can get the rest of what we need in Solitude. Ana seems to like people a lot; she talks to them so easily and she's good at getting me to talk. She makes me feel less nervous  around new people; it's really nice. I hope I don't mess this up like I do everything else.

    I hope we don't run into anything to bad on the road. I hope we just have an easy trip. Alright I'm going to head to bed apparently we're getting up early tomorrow to head out. 

 

**12th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  Things have been going well so far. I’m excited and nervous we are almost to Solitude now, and we haven't had any trouble on the road. We did see some Thalmor soldiers some time yesterday, but they didn't pay us any mind. 

  Ana doesn't get mad at me when I mess up either. She said 

  “Messing up is just a chance to improve for next time”

  I don't really know what that means, but she sounded pretty confident in believing that, so maybe I'll ask. Ana has also been trying to teach me how to use a bow! Keyword there is ‘trying’. I'm really bad with it, and it's really hard to understand, but I'll keep trying because I think Ana enjoys trying to teach me.

   I hope this thing with Ana whatever it is last… for add least a little bit… I probably if she stays around for awhile I’ll tell here about my family. I mean I don’t want here getting involved with that unless she has too. 

 

**13th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  We made it to Solitude. I've never really enjoyed traveling, but with Ana it was less nerve racking and even enjoyable. While we’re in Solitude I asked Ana if she wanted to visit the temple to the Nine Divines. She said if I wanted to go she would go with me, but she, herself, does not worship them. I told her I don't really either, I don’t really worship anyone actually…, I just asked her because I thought she might want to go.

   We’re staying at a place called  The Winking Skeever it’s a really nice place I was a little worried about the price when Ana told me she would pay for the both of us if I didn’t mind sharing a room, and I told her I used to have to share a room half the size with four brothers, sharing with her would be no problem plus we slept next to each other when we were traveling. 

     We decided that we will get supplies tomorrow and head out the next day. Ana says she does ruins like this all the time by herself, and with a healer it will be even quicker. Ana brought food to the room I'll write more later.

 

**14th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  Getting supplies was odd I mean Ana actually paid for it all so I’m worried She’ll want something in return… I offered to pay for some of it but, she wouldn't let me.  She says we should wait one more day to head out, because if we left now we would end up walking through the marsh at night. 

  Oh! I got to see the sea for the first time! It’s called the  Sea of Ghosts  I’ve never seen boats that big before; they were amazing. Ana went with me down to the docks: I wanted to see the ships up close. I did see some creates with my family crest on them, but that's not really surprising. I did not point them out to Ana. 

  Ana also mentioned something about going to a bathhouse today after lunch. I’ve never been to a public bath before, the thought is making me kind of nervous, but Ana says there’s nothing to worry about.

 

**14th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  The bathhouse was nice, we got soap and stuff too, and the staff there washed our clothes and armor. It's been awhile since I’ve been this clean! Or well before I left home I was always this clean… But anyways you can see my curls for the first time in over a month. Ana laughed when she saw my hair curling as it dried and said that “...under all that dirt, sweat and blood she hadn't expected curls”. She also called me “cute” and I liked it. It didn’t make me as uncomfortable as it usually does.

  Ana also let me pay for dinner after I explained that her paying for everything was making me nervous. It’s been a week since I’ve met Ana and even though  Guiesl isn’t here it’s been one of the best in my life.

 

**15th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

I have no idea what time it is right now all I know is the sun’s not up and nobodys awake even in the tavern down stairs. The only reason I’m awake is because of a nightmare. I saw Gus, he was broken and bloody, with his back towards me. When I reached out to grab his shoulder after calling his name several times he turned to face me before I could touch him. He was angry with me for letting him die and for all the years he had protected me the best he could, and how I let him down. I know I failed him, I know I can never make it up. It's funny how now I'm expected to save the world. I'm going to try to get a few more hours of sleep.

 

**15th Hearthfire 4E 201**

Ana woke me the second time this morning for breakfast, which should be ready soon and then we will be heading out. It should only be about half a day of walking, but Ana says that the marsh can bring unexpected challenges. She says we need to watch the ground and be careful where we step. I hope this goes well today.

 

**15th Hearthfire 4E 201**

  Mud mud mud that's all there is out here! My shoes and pants are soaked through hopefully they're dry by tomorrow. Ana and I both are leaving our pants and shoes by the fire. Today wasn't all bad though we talked about so many things. I asked her where she’s from she said from Riften and I told her I’m from Bruma. She asked me what it was like and I told her of the statue of The Hero and all the wood cabins and the burned out chapel of Talos and how there was always Thalmor about, nothing about my home though. She told what Riften is like how its the home of the Thieves’ Guild and the Black-Briars. She told me of the orphanage where she grew up. Then she asked if we could stop by after we got the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. I told her of course! And asked if she was sure if she wanted me to come with her. She said she did and that she enjoyed my company. 

  We've stopped for the night It's taken longer than expected to travel so we had to stop since its going to be dark soon. We found an old cabin that looks relatively abandoned and Ana got a fire started and has started preparing our meal. She asked me if I know how to cook and was surprised when I told her that I didn't know how. I wanted to explain but I was to nervous too. She smiled and said that that was fine and then offer to teach me. I accepted and she let me help her prepare our meal. We are waiting for it to finish cooking now. 


	3. Chapter 3

**16th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

The burrow is in sight now; Ana said someone has been here recently, and may still be inside. I just wanted to do a quick update, just in case.

 

**17** **Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

This is a joke right? Gods why can't something just work for once! Ana is at least happy with the loot we got, and I got this word floating around in my head again, like when I started understanding  _ Fus.  _ Oh, I'm getting off topic- so anyways, someone beat us to the gods forsaken horn and left a note for me. I'll just shove it in here.

 

_ Dragonborn-- _ __   
__   
_ I need to speak to you. Urgently. _ __   
__   
_ Rent the attic room at the Sleeping Giant Inn in Riverwood, and I'll meet you. _ __   
_   
_ __ \--A friend

__

__ I'm not really sure what to do. I know I have to go get the horn back, but why? Why would this person do this? I guess they probably have important information or something, but was this the only way they could get in contact with me? I hope this doesn't get me or Ana killed. But anyways, Ana wants first watch again, so I'll get some sleep for now.

 

**18th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  So we made it back to Solitude In one piece. It was faster on the way back- maybe because we didn't have to look for a hole in the ground- and we also sold some of the things we found. So I guess the trip out wasn't a complete waste. Ana enjoyed it at least; said it was “exhilarating and a good workout” 

  We are staying at the inn tonight, then we're leaving with a caravan of Khajiit. I didn't realize that they weren't allowed in the cities. I don't understand why not though, all of the Khajiit I have met have been nice. They don't mock the way I speak, unlike  _ some _ people... I guess the moral of the story is: most Nords are weird and awful.

 

**22nd Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  We made it to whiterun around midday and ate lunch with the caravan, and then headed to Riverwood. Now Ana and I are in the Sleeping Giant just waiting. We haven't asked for a attic room yet we just want to see who comes and goes first. Plus I’m really nervous about this, but I have to do this by myself. 

  There's not really much of a reason for me to wait any longer… I guess I should get this over with.

 

**22nd Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

“We don't have an attic room so come to my secret basement layer” and “I don't trust  _ you  _ so I'm going to take you dragon killing halfway across the country” that is what I accomplished with  Delphine . 

  Oh but the Thalmor are definitely at fault here! Because of course their at fault! Of course that makes perfect sense! I'm getting frustrated just thinking about this. 

  So long story short we're going to Kynesgrove. At least she gave me my gold back and is letting us stay for free tonight and somehow Ana seems content to do this. She says she usually doesn't have an objective when she travels so this is nice. I'm going to rest now we have to leave early tomorrow.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**25th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  We finally stopped to rest. Ana looks like she could keep going, but I'm hardly able to stay upright. Even Delphine is looking worse for wear. I'm not going to write much tonight- I'm far too tried.

 

**28th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  We are now at the Braidwood inn. I'm not really sure how to describe today, really. I mean, we got to Kynesgrove early this morning, and we went out to the spot Delphine told us to; apparently it's a dragon burial sight. But anyways, we waited there for a few hours until suddenly the huge black dragon, Alduin, flew down and landed on the mound, shouting something into it.

  He spoke to me, saying “ **Daniik kiir hi rul dur fin daar dez nai hi** ” which I don't understand, but cannot seem to forget either. Then, he mocked me for not being able to understand Dovahzul, which seems like a unimportant thing to mock me for out of all the obvious things to pick from. 

  When he finished speaking, I finally noticed the dragon forming behind him from the bones in the mound. As the dragon finished forming, Alduin finally left. 

  Ana, Delphine, and a few of the guards helped fight the new dragon, Sahloknir, who's name I know now. I kept everyone on their feet for the battle, and healed their wounds after.

  I learned Sahloknir’s name in his death, just as I knew Mirmulnir. Sometimes I can feel what they felt in their defeat. Their anger, their rage, their want for destruction, and domination. These are not emotions I often feel, and now when I do feel it, it is not my own, but one of theirs.

  Now, I need to get some rest, and prepare for tomorrow.

 

**29th Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  We walked up to Windhelm this morning so we could pay for a cart ride back to Riverwood, since It's faster than walking all the way back. Apparently, last night, Delphine headed back to Riverwood on her own.

  I don't like it here very much. The Nords here don't like anyone who isn't a Nord. It's really scary, so I'm sticking close to Ana. I'm actually sitting next to her right now.

  She's having baths brought to our room tonight, saying we're getting a little ripe. She wants to bathe with me. Which has me nervous even though we have bathed together before.

  I think I'm in love with Ana... I wish I had someone to speak to about this- someone who could give me advice. I've never felt like this with anyone, and I don’t know what to do...

  She's just so brave, kind, gental, strong, smart and beautiful. I love everything about her! I wish there was a chance of her feeling the same for me, but someone like her deserves so much better. She could never feel the same about someone like me.

 

**31st Hearthfire 4E 201**

 

  We are over halfway to Whiterun, and have stopped for the night, though, we should reach Riverwood by tomorrow afternoon.

  Nothing exciting has happened in the past few days, and for that I am thankful. Ana did ask me if I would like to braid her hair. Which was nice- I really like her hair. Then when I was done, I asked if she would like to braid my hair as well. 

  She is so good at braiding! It didn't even hurt, she was so gentle. 

  I'm going to go cuddle up with her now, and steal some of her warmth.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find out more about boe at  
> https://boethedragonborn.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**1st Frostfall 4E 201**

  It snowed a lot last night, doubling our travel time. We're sitting bundled up with our blankets in the bottom of the cart right now. I'm in Ana's lap, to share warmth. I didn't suggest it! Ana did! She says I'm like a little furnace.

  Ana fell asleep a bit ago, so I thought it would be a good time to write a bit. The cart driver isn't very chatty, which is fine, I'm not really chatty either. He did say that we'll probably reach Whiterun by around midday tomorrow, though.

  Ana also said that we should get me warmer clothes, she said I'd turn into a “boesicle” without some. I was too cold to disagree.

 

**2nd frostfall 4E 201**

 

  We arrived in Whiterun a few hours ago, we rented a room, and then Ana took me to a seamstress. I thought we would just get some used ones and call it good, but instead we're getting brand new ones and even getting them taken in to fit me better. Ana even paid extra to have them finished by tomorrow.

  Ana also bought me a hairbrush- not a comb, a  _ hairbrush _ ; she said that it would make brushing my hair easier. She was right too! Brushing hurt way less, and took less time to! 

  It feels nice to be clean and groomed.

 

**3rd Frostfall 4E 201**

 

Ana snuck out before I woke up this morning. I panicked when I didn't see her when I woke up, and I thought she had left me, but she walked in a few minutes later grinning like the cat who caught the canary.

   She had bought me a gift. The only other person who has given me a gift before was Guiesl. Anyways, Ana handed me thing wrapped in cloth. I opened it carefully, taking my time. 

  It was a steel dagger, but not only that it is also enchanted. I almost had a heart attack when I saw it. Just from the magical energy it gives off, I can tell it's something that slows someone down, almost if it saps their life force away.

  I was almost mad at Ana for spending so much money on me, but then she asked me if I liked it and she just looked so excited to give me such a thing that I couldn't be mad. So I told her how much I loved it and how thankful I am for it, and none of the worry for the cost.

  I… also maaay have kissed her. My face is just red writing that! But the thing is, she kissed me back! I've never kissed anyone before- I’ve never even thought about it before. Now I can't stop thinking about kissing her. I want to kiss her again. She's just so perfect.

   I've been thinking about it all day, even though neither of us has brought it up. I wanted to ask about it as we walked to Riverwood, but I couldn't muster the courage. It's not like we walked in silence though, we did talk about stuff.

  Anyways, we also picked up my new robes today before we left Whiterun. Then, we headed to Riverwood, and made it here around sundown. We spoke to Delphine a bit, decided the rest could wait for tomorrow.

 

**4th Frostfall 4E 201**

 

I couldn't sleep at all last night; I just kept thinking and thinking. I'm not even sure it's morning yet since the sun hasn't even come up yet. Ana is still asleep too, and she's an early riser. 

  I wish I had somebody to ask about these kinds of things. How do I even bring it up to her? Is it like 

  “hey I kissed you yesterday. What now?” No, no that sounds stupid. Gods, what do I do?


	6. Chapter 6

**4th Frostfall 4E 201**

 

  The Thalmor. Of course it's the Thalmor bringing back the gods-damned dragons!  (that is, of course, sarcasm). Delphine seems to think that the Thalmor are to blame for the dragons. 

  Which is stupid, we know who is bringing back the dragons. It's Alduin! We know this! We also know dragons are too prideful to serve mortals, and from what I know about dragons, it’s just from consuming their souls! 

  But of course it's the Thalmor, and obviously she needs to send Ana to sneak into the embassy and find proof of that! And what's worse, is that she wanted to send me to do it, but Ana volunteered to go instead...

  Ana is going to have to go up to Solitude with Delphine to buy an outfit, and talk to a friend of Delphine’s to finalize a plan. Ana should be gone for two weeks, give or take travel time. She’ll be leaving early tomorrow morning. They won’t let me know anything else.

  I’m staying here with  Orgnar; he helps run this place. He’s nice enough. Orgnar has been showing me how to help today, while Ana was talking with Delphine. He’s not much of a talker either. 

 

**9th Frostfall 4E 201**

 

  People had came asking around for me, today. Orgnar told me when I got back from running errands for him. I showed him my family crest, and asked if they had anything with the same symbol.

  He said that they did. This is really bad. I haven't left Delphine's hidden basement since. I can't really express on paper how bad this is.  **_He_ ** sent people after me and Gus. 

  Orgnar told them about the first time I came through, and says that they are several weeks behind me. He also said that other people in town likely won't say anything, and if they do, it would be vague. I still dont think I'm going back upstairs til Ana gets back. 

  I hope that I can stay ahead of **His** people, I don't even know if they’re sticking around town. Oh gods I can't let them find me. I can't let everything I've been through be for nothing- I can't let  Guiesl's death be for nothing.

I'm not going back alive.

 

**11th Frostfall 4E 201**

 

  The people who were looking for me, some mercenaries, left this morning. I still haven't left the basement yet, and probably won’t til tomorrow. Orgnar has been kind enough to bring meals to me down here. Says he does the same for Delphine.

  I guess I should talk about who is trying to bring me home. I guess I kind of hinted at it looking back, but I haven't said who exactly. It sounds kind of silly to write ‘I ran away from my father,’ and it sounds even sillier when I say that I’m nineteen.

  What kept us, or me, from leaving earlier, one might ask, and my answer is fear and my  **Father** was keeping a closer eye on Guiesl and I; we weren't allowed to leave the house without an escort, we couldn't have friends, we weren't taught how to cook or clean, we couldn't talk to the servants, clean ourselves, talk too loud to each other, or really anything else. My father would find any reason to punish us. Punishment could be many different things that I won’t go into now… Maybe some other time, or maybe not. It doesn't really matter now.

 

**13th Frostfall 4E 201**

 

Delphine got back this morning. She brought most of Ana's things back, and put them in a chest, before saying she wants to train me. Said that the world needs me survive. I think that she wants an excuse to hit me, but I think if I refused, she'd just hit me anyways. I have a few hours to mentally prepare myself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sgjsdghj someone did art!

Hey @[bummypie](http://bummy-pie.tumblr.com) drew boe for me you should check out more of her work

**Author's Note:**

> Boe is mine character and if you're interested finding out more about them you can look here:  
> https://boethedragonborn.tumblr.com/


End file.
